How to RSVP and send invitations
When you are invited, reply by the date on the invitation, yes or no, and bring someone only if the invitation names a guest or a plus one. When you invite, give the date, time, place, what kind of event it is, what to wear if it matters, and a reply-by date, and send it two to three weeks ahead for a dinner or party and much earlier for a wedding.
About 10 minutes to learnEveryday skill
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How to do it
- Reply to every invitation by the date given, even when the answer is no.
- Bring a guest only if the invitation names one or says plus one.
- Tell the host at once if your yes becomes a no.
- Include the date, start time, place, type of event and any dress code when you invite.
- Add a reply-by date a few days before you need a headcount.
- Send dinner and party invitations two to three weeks ahead, and big events much earlier.
- Send a short, friendly reminder a few days before the event.
Common mistakes
- Treating no reply as a polite no.
- Bringing a date to an event that did not invite one.
- Sending an invitation with no reply-by date and then guessing the numbers.
Quick self-check
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Teach this to someone
A one-page sheet for showing a friend, a roommate or a kid: what to say, what to show, and one question to check it landed.
Teach: How to RSVP and send invitations
What to say
When you are invited, reply by the date on the invitation, yes or no, and bring someone only if the invitation names a guest or a plus one. When you invite, give the date, time, place, what kind of event it is, what to wear if it matters, and a reply-by date, and send it two to three weeks ahead for a dinner or party and much earlier for a wedding.
What to show, in order
- Reply to every invitation by the date given, even when the answer is no.
- Bring a guest only if the invitation names one or says plus one.
- Tell the host at once if your yes becomes a no.
- Include the date, start time, place, type of event and any dress code when you invite.
- Add a reply-by date a few days before you need a headcount.
- Send dinner and party invitations two to three weeks ahead, and big events much earlier.
- Send a short, friendly reminder a few days before the event.
The check question
Ask: An invitation asks for a reply and you cannot go. What do you do?
Related skills
- How to host a simple dinner
- How to be a good wedding guest
- How to write a thank-you note
- Every skill in People and Etiquette
Last reviewed . First published .